


To the girl who loves her home

by GateBreaker



Series: Stardust Collisions [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, Alien Culture, Alien Invasion, Alien does make very good points, Aliens, Communication, Doctor Who References, Gen, Humans Are Weird, I Tried, Language Barrier, Letters, Original Character(s), Other times he's just weird, Outer Space, Sort Of, but not anymore, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 08:27:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16425914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GateBreaker/pseuds/GateBreaker
Summary: As you have probably deduced by now, I decided to follow your guidance and experience humanity first-hand. I’ve learned you are, unquestionable, a very… eccentric species indeed.





	To the girl who loves her home

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of 'Dear strange alien'. The point of this was to write a response to the previous letter.  
> I think my teacher may hate us all.  
> I apologize for any typos or grammar errors, as english is not my first language.  
> Hope you enjoy! ^.^

To the girl who loves her home (and seems strangely fixated on alien invasions)

This message may come late, as it has been a few years since you sent that letter to me, and much has changed. At the time, I could not understand your symbols or how they connected with each other, and so, I was at a loss on how to communicate back. Fortunately, the use of a translator to comprehend your note was available and it gave me much to ponder about.

As you can obviously perceive looking at this paper message, I am writing to you in your mother tongue. English, I remember it was called. It was not difficult to find it. It seems that it dominates over other communities all over your little planet. Mostly. Your non-human companions were not so helpful in this endeavour, I’m afraid. Why, I had a big one with odd coverings (I believe you call this “fur”?) try to eat my hand! It was quite a bizarre experience. Quite rude as well, I found. Not at all hospitable.

As you have probably deduced by now, I decided to follow your guidance and experience humanity first-hand. I’ve learned you are, unquestionable, a very… _eccentric_ species indeed.

Why, the other day, I saw this large flame vehicle with a ladder near a tree, with some humans trying to get to this “cat” to apparently… save it (?). I find it adorable that, while you have no clear issue with consuming some non-humans (animals?), you go to very large lengths to rescue others, some of which you seem to eat as well.

These “others” I mentioned, you call them “pets”. I do not understand if they are your personal slaves or if you are theirs. It appears to be a very intricate and complex association.

I may have just realized that there is noticeably a very clear hierarchy in place between you humans and non-humans, with your species at the top of the ladder. I am deeply confused by this. Humans don’t seem to be very strong or durable, nor can you fly or breath underwater. You don’t have claws or fangs (although I had this small human bite me once. It broke the skin and she didn’t let go until her creator pried her off), nor any other kind of advantage. Except your intelligence. And while that is very good, I find it odd that that was all it took to survive all this time with predators all around you. It is fascinating. Nonsensical and ridiculous in a fantastical way. And yet, visibly very true.

Still a bizarre species though.

Take another look at those hands of yours. You have two of them, correct? Then why is it that you tend to use just one of these appendages for so many tasks? The fact that you humans have a dominant hand at all is a bit odd, whether it is the left or right. After all, having two hands with excellent motor skills would be a real boon for you humans, yet this outlandish dichotomy still stands and is viewed as _normal_.

Why do humans feel the need to alter their bodies with surgeries or permanent ornamentations? Is it some sort of ritual? Does it have some sort of healing properties or is it a power display? A way to distinguish and categorize certain types of humans? I tried to ask one of you (while using a chameleon circuit to disguise my appearance appropriately, of course), but all she did was scream about how Hitler was back from the dead and kept crying for someone called “God”. I do not understand. My data informs me that Adolf Hitler is a very recognizable figure and very popular. I thought it would make you humans more amenable to discuss with me if I used his appearance. But it seems this endeavour failed, so I choose someone less known for my next expedition. I tried someone named Ryan Reynold as a last resort. He wasn’t as famous, but I hoped that humans would still be agreeable to some type of conversation.

I still did not obtain an answer to my previous question, but I do now comprehend how you humans reached the top of the hierarchy after my bizarre encounter with a large female group. Their shouts and shrieks still hunt me as if they were war screams and their _hands_ , oh great nebulae, their _hands_. They were _everywhere_.

You do things that are detrimental to your well-being. Smoking cigarettes, drinking heavily, using drugs — all of these things are bad for you humans, and yet, you do them anyway. Which is a little counterintuitive when you take in the fact that humans seem to be obsessed with their own mortality. And explosions. And a human named Schwarzenegger. And this book of the Face.

How odd it is that sadness causes water to spill from your eyes! So many events led to this strange clear liquid to pour from your visual globes. Why, I was trying to investigate more of this phenomenon and had this perfect opportunity to join a group of black dressed humans. It was a very enlightening experience for myself, but it appears that the followers of the black did not share my enthusiasm. I believe it was not appropriate to show happiness and excitement at a “funeral” and to ask so many question about the degree of decay of the human in the box. Which I found strange seeing as I though the word “fun” meant being entertained and amused. It seems I was ill-informed.

Hiccups were an enthralling thing to observe, as well. They serve no apparent purpose and yet they are still present in your lives! It’s adorable.

What I found extremely wasteful was the amount of time you humans devote to sleeping. You occupy roughly one-third of your lives to sleep. No human can go without it for more than a handful of days. It seems to be an awfully inefficient system.

As well as your single vascular system. A single heart. What if it stops? What if there’s something wrong with it? A binary vascular system is much more efficient. I’ve found that beings with single hearts are physically weaker than those with two hearts. I feel saddened by the thought that you cannot experience the soothing sensation of two sets of pulses, the symphony of two sets of beats.

A very effective system, however, is how you humans swap saliva! To use it to allow humans to smell and taste in order assess each other as potential mates is brilliant. How your breath and saliva carry chemical signals as to whether you are healthy or sick, and in the case of females, whether they're ovulating, all important messages for potential partners in reproduction. No wonder there are so many of you!

It still does not excuse you from all the other odd things you humans do. Yelling at inanimate objects. Creating this opposite boat tub thing. Naming every moon in your solar system, except, apparently, your own. And I believe this activity called “fishing” would be a lot less popular if the water creatures could scream.

I hope to meet with you someday and discuss more about human strangeness, like your mating rituals and your non-spoken languages. About this magical books that take you far ways and this Tower of Babel story. About the rhythmic sound that I found so pleasant and the visual majesty created by your species. Your history and your culture.

I will teach you about mine in return, of course. I’ll show you space and creation and the formation of entire systems. The death and the birth of a star. I’ll take you to a planet with two suns, and a planet of diamonds. You’ll feel the brightest thing in the universe and breathe the pulse of its life. The darkest black will mesmerize you and struck you as forcefully as its magnetism. You’ll feel the reds, smell the blues, see the whites and hear the violets. A maelstrom of art and violence. A kaleidoscope of creation and death. It’s simultaneously the most beautiful and the ugliest thing in the universe.

I’ll teach you about the life of stardust and the impossibility and marvel of existence. You’ll see the endless arch of void-black beyond the moon’s corona. The birthstone-blues and molten-golds. The sequin-silvers and polar-whites. Beautiful all a-glitter in their heavenly attire.

I’ll show you the stars and all that comes with them.

Sincerely,

Your star born friend (who will not invade, if merely because of the existence of the female species, so please stop sending invasion jokes through the emergency channels)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed, and if you found any error or misspelling please tell me.  
> Thanks for reading! ^.^


End file.
